A huge aspect of feeling confident in who we are and what we are doing/what we believe is possible for ourselves) is the influences we allow into our lives that add to or take away from our Self belief.
Yes, confidence starts from within but often when we aren't paying attention to our thoughts the default for our worldview and ourselves in it is shaped purely on external factors - the media, the societies we live in, the stories we're told about ourselves ( you're too loud, too quiet, too floaty, too much, too strong, too sensitive, too weird ) and the people we surround ourselves with.
As human beings one of our most important emotional needs is a sense of belonging and a recent study by Harvard showed that
"Our relationships and how happy we are in our relationships has a powerful influence on our health. Taking care of your body is important, but tending to your relationships is a form of self-care too. That, I think, is the revelation.” - Robert Waldinger.
Having a supportive, empowering, uplifting network is key to helping us be our most confident selves and that is something that we can control, but often feel stuck about how to do so.
Instead of ' Where do you meet a good partner these days?', a common question my clients ask is " Where the hell do you make friends once you've left high school/Uni?"
Our craving for deeper, more connected friendships with people who 'get us' is one of the reasons I started my in person Sip + Soul Sessions ( FREE for the members of my Wildlings Community )
Having a group of people who understand and support your dreams and are themselves striving or growing in some way, is super important to your confidence and your drive to keep going for what you want. When you have people cheering you on instead of questioning what you are doing every step of the way - the difference it makes is huge!
The trick is - you have to be willing to be yourself out there first.
Those amazing, inspiring, fun, light hearted and passionate humans you wanna hang with aren't just going to knock on your door ( unless you're super friendly with your mail person and then maybe they will, ha ) and they also aren't going to recognise you as 'one of them' if you don't show up as your true Self. How do your fellow writers know you have a creative passion in common if your writing is your best kept secret? Ya pick up what I'm putting down?
Take stock of what and who in your life makes you feel like shit, and look at how you can move away from or clear that out. ( Note ** This part is not always easy, but is a natural and important part of allowing space for who and what you want to become ** ) Then gift yourself the connection of humans who make you feel great by putting yourself out there to meet them.